How One Question Can Transform Playtime
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Why “What made you think of that?” Works Better Than “Try it!”
Parents often believe that play becomes meaningful when children succeed—when they finish the puzzle, stack the blocks high, or get the answer right.
But research in early childhood development shows something surprising:
👉 The words parents use during play matter more than the outcome of the play itself.
A classic study published in Child Development found that open-ended questions dramatically increase a child’s problem-solving ability and flexible thinking. Instead of telling children what to do, asking them how they’re thinking activates deeper cognitive pathways and strengthens creativity.
And it all begins with one simple question.
🌿 The Power of the Question: “What made you think of that?”
When kids are asked this question, three important things happen at once:
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They pause and reflect
Reflection helps children understand their own reasoning, which strengthens metacognition—the ability to think about thinking. -
They feel respected
Children sense that their ideas matter, even if the result isn’t “correct.”
This boosts confidence and intrinsic motivation. -
They continue exploring
Open-ended questions spark curiosity, leading to longer, richer play sessions.
It's not about guiding them toward the “right” answer—it's about helping them discover their own possibilities.
🧩 Why “Try it this way” Is Less Effective
While it’s natural for adults to step in and suggest solutions, directive language often stops a child’s creative path.
When parents say:
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“Do it like this,”
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“No, that doesn’t go there,”
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“Try this direction,”
they unknowingly shift the ownership of the activity from the child to the adult.
Studies show that children become more cautious, less confident, and more hesitant to experiment when adults dominate the problem-solving process.
But with open-ended guidance, the opposite happens—they take risks, test ideas, and build original solutions.
🌈 Examples You Can Use During Play
Here are simple swaps that immediately change the atmosphere:
| Instead of… | Try saying… |
|---|---|
| “No, that’s wrong.” | “What do you think will happen if you try another way?” |
| “That piece doesn’t fit.” | “What made you choose that piece?” |
| “Do it like this.” | “How did you decide to start there?” |
| “Be careful!” | “Tell me what you’re planning next.” |
These questions shift the focus from “fixing mistakes” to “understanding ideas.”
🧠 What the Research Says
✔ Frontiers in Psychology found that children generate significantly more creative solutions when adults ask reflective questions during play.
✔ Journal of Early Childhood Research noted that parent-led questions improve communication skills and emotional regulation.
✔ Harvard Center on the Developing Child highlighted that open-ended conversation strengthens executive function—skills needed for planning, flexibility, and decision-making.
In short:
Your tone shapes their mindset.
Your question shapes their creativity.
💛 How Thinkie Parents Can Use This Daily
Whether you’re building blocks, playing board games, or drawing together, try adding these questions into your routine:
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“What made you think that?”
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“I never thought of it like that—tell me more!”
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“What do you want to try next?”
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“How did you come up with that idea?”
These phrases help children feel seen, heard, and capable—exactly the kind of emotional foundation Thinkie believes in.
🌟 Final Thought
Play isn’t just about toys.
It’s a conversation, a connection, and a shared moment of discovery.
When you replace “Do it this way” with
👉 “What made you think of that?”
you’re not just changing the conversation—
you’re changing the way your child thinks, explores, and grows.